I recently had a commenter ask why we chose DIA, or domestic infant adoption, when there are so many choices available, and what our future adoption plans were.  I thought it could make a good post topic.

After I had our 2 biological children, the doctors recommended we not have more due to the unexplainable and numerous complications I experienced with each.  We were content with our girl and boy, and agreed to heed their advice.  About a year after M was born, God used several people around the country to plant the seed of adoption in S’s and my heart.  We discussed it at length, and decided we both agreed we felt called to adopt at that time. 

When I was growing up, my parents had been foster parents.  I was very familiar with caring for foster children, the emotional “baggage” they often come with, and the tremendous need for homes for these children, so S and I decided to look into “legal-risk” adoption.  This is basically an adoption of a foster child that the courts have not yet terminated parental rights.  We went through the entire state training course.  In the mean time, we were praying about adoption, and realized that as young as our 2 children were (2 1/2 and 1 at the time), state adoption may not be the best option.  A child that has been removed from its home by the state usually has physical or emotional problems that require a great deal of attention.  Furthermore, if the child wound up unable to be adopted, we knew our young children would not be able to understand.  We just reached a point where we had no peace with this option.  The call to adopt was still there, though, so, we began searching other options.

Our next venture, like many looking to adopt, was international.  I did a ton of reading, internet research, calling different agencies and asking questions, talking to friends who had adopted internationally, and so forth.  We thought this was it.  All we had to do was decide which country we were interested in adopting from, and then which agency to use to get us started.  God quickly shut the door on that option though.  First, because I am diabetic, I do not qualify to adopt from all but 1 or 2 countries.  Secondly, S’s job at the time required a military security clearance that made travel to most countries difficult for us.  It was quickly obvious this was not what God had in mind.  We continued to pray about what He wanted for us. 

Very soon, mostly through our research, we became more educated on domestic adoption. While older children can occasionally be adopted through private domestic adoptions, newborns are most often adopted through this route.  Most agencies available specialize in newborn adoptions and services that match adoptive parents with expectant mothers desiring to place their baby.  As we continued to pray and research, it was soon obvious that this was where God wanted us.  We also realized that this option would be the easiest on our current children, as they would receive an infant sibling with the greatest guarantee possible for a finalized adoption in the end.  The rest is history.

Now that we have adopted domestically, our eyes have truly been opened to the tremendous need for adoptive parents for DIA’s–particularly for babies of minority ethnicities.  A friend once pointed out to us that crisis pregnancies happen every day here in America, and if we were against abortion, then we HAD to be willing to provide another option.  It hit us that there are millions of people out there willing to judge and condemn a mother for wanting to abort her child, but those same people are unwilling to take the steps necessary to give her another way out of an unplanned pregnancy.  Adoption is often the best alternative in these cases, but very few people are willing to open themselves up to adopt.  It was a concept that affected us greatly.  We realized that crisis pregnancies will happen, children will be born, and some of these children will not have a stable or secure home life.  Some of their mothers are looking for the “right” family who may be willing to raise that child for them.  So far, 3 of those mothers considered us to be the “right” family for her and her baby.  We believe God has built our family, made us available to these mothers, and, as a result, we see no difference in our bioligical and adopted children outside of how they came to be in our family.  They are all our children, each one needs love, stability, security, and an opportunity to grow into the person God has created them to be. 

That all being said, as of now, we have no intention of adopting through any other route.  While we may one day re-consider a legal-risk state adoption, we will not do so until our current children are much older and more independent.  The safety and overall well-being of our current children must come first.  The funny thing that many people seem to have trouble understanding is that we don’t ever “plan” to adopt at all.  As Christ-followers, though, we have committed ourselves to opening our hearts and homes to children God wants to bring to us.  So far, he has called us to complete a homestudy on 3 separate occasions, and guided us down the path that would lead us to our child.  We are beyond blessed with the 5 beautiful children we have now, but we have also know God may one day call us to adopt again.  Only time will tell.  At this point, if a woman experiencing an unplanned or crisis pregnancy contacted us about adopting her baby, we wouldn’t turn our backs on her.  We would, of course, pray about it and follow God’s prompting, but when an innocent baby needs what we can provide, I don’t understand how anyone could say, “No.”

So that’s our story in a nutshell.  I have a few non-adoption posts planned in the near future, but obviously, this is the forefront of our minds right now.

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